Ten Conversation Starters for Shy People

We all know the feeling of being in a social situation where you do not know a single person, and you find yourself standing next to a stranger and not having a thing to say.  This can be even more difficult for people who are shy.  You know you will be forced to talk to someone, but you feel as though stabbing yourself with a cocktail fork would be less painful.  You do not need to feel this way.  Below are ten conversation starters for shy people.

• Ask People How They Know The Event’s Host:  More often than not, the one thing that connects people is the person who threw the event.  People who have varied groups of friends tend to like to bring these groups together to promote intermingling.  When you find yourself standing next to an unknown person while waiting in line at for the rest room, ask him or her how he or she is acquainted with the host.  You will be quite surprised by the range of responses you may receive.  From “I work with Sally”, to “I met Sally and her husband while we were vacationing in Tahiti.  We took a deep-sea diving course together!”  This type of dialogue will allow you to learn more about the person and their unique experiences.

 

• Ask People What They Do For A Living:  Not only can this be one of the best conversation starters for shy people; it could also be a fantastic networking opportunity.  For example, you may find out the person you are speaking with is an independent bookkeeper and you are have been looking for a bookkeeper for your business.  Or perhaps you are thinking of going into the trade yourself.  This person could provide some wonderful advice on how to get started and things you need to know.  Asking this simple question is one of the best ways to get people talking.

 

• Ask People Where They Are From:  With so many people in the military, having to move for work, or relocating to be closer to family, it is more common than not that the person is not from the area you are currently in.  You may find out the person you are speaking with is from your hometown, or that you went to the same college.  You may find they are from an area that you recently visited on vacation.  All of these possibilities give you great openings as conversation starters for shy people.

 

• Ask People Where They Reside Now:  This can be an exceptional conversation starter, especially if you live in a large city.  You may just find out that the person you are chatting with lives in your neighborhood, or that they live down the block from your favorite shop or restaurant.  People usually love to talk about where they live, and you never know the people or places you may have in common.

 

• Ask People Where They Attended School:  Colleges and universities are one of the best conversation starters for shy people.  Almost anyone can discuss college experiences.  From attending the same school, attending rival schools, or even sharing the same concentration, the possibilities for conversation are endless.

 

• Ask People What They Do In Their Time Off:  You can learn a great deal about a person by asking this question.  People like to talk about themselves, and love to brag about trips they have taken, classes they are taking, and various other pastimes.  You may find that you both enjoy spa treatments on the weekends, or that you both belong to a community sports team.

 

• Ask People If They Have Any Interesting Hobbies:  Asking about hobbies is one of the best conversation starters for shy people.  Just about everyone has a hobby, and in today’s global society, you may just be surprised at what the hobby choice is.  You may find that you share the same hobby, or that their hobby interests you and you can gain a great deal of information from that person.

 

• Ask People What Type Of Music They Like:  If there is music playing at the event, use that as your opening.  You could start by saying, “Oh I love this song!” and wait for a response.  Once you have opened the lines of communication, ask what their favorite song is, who their favorite bands are, and what they currently have on their I-pod.

 

• Ask People What Type Of Foods They Enjoy:  When you are reaching for snacks at the hors d’oeuvre table, use this opportunity to ask someone what types of foods they enjoy.  You can learn a lot about a person from their food choices, and you may also find you enjoy the same restaurants or dishes.

 

• Ask An Abnormal Question:  Use a bit of caution with this, but ask a question that will cause the person to think and give a unique response.  The question of “If you could spend the day with any five people, living or dead, who would they be?” is a great opener.  You can learn a great deal from their response and you will be amazed at how the conversation can continue to grow from this point.

 

Remember, be yourself and be confident when using any of the above tips for starting conversations.  People are, in general, quite friendly and are usually quite willing to partake in a chat.

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